


Got the server working, here's the invite link:

by EtchJetty, Nihilistic_Janitor



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Other, genderfeels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtchJetty/pseuds/EtchJetty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihilistic_Janitor/pseuds/Nihilistic_Janitor
Summary: In an AU where the Alpha Kids are all 15 by the year 2021, Pesterchum isn't the only (and far from the best) online chat app out there. This is the story of their first meeting -- in a Discord chatroom.
Relationships: Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Discord theme taken wholesale from [the Discord Dark Theme Workskin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12142470)!

  
# general  
  


tipsyGnostalgic  
sup  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Hi.  
Nice to meet you.  
You're a friend of Jake's?  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
moer jane but yeeee  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Ah.  
Hold on one second, I'm gonna make myself a custom role.  
Do you want one?  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
uhhhh  
the color of my av?  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Done.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
:O  
_le gasp_  
!!!  
thank u mr timaeus 9_9  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Please, call me Dirk.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
dork  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Sure.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
dork,,,?  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Call me Strider.  
  


* * *

KAY-CBOT  
HI HELLO WELCOME @golgothasTerror TO THE SERVER HELLO WELCOME  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
I must say! What an absolute bang up job you have done here already dirk.  
Ive not felt this welcomed to a place well maybe ever!  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Yeah, the bot has a really obnoxious default welcome message.  
I'll be changing that shortly, don't worry.  
Anyways, Jake, this is Roxy, Roxy this is Jake, I'm sure you know each other.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
(oh em gees)  
(WHAT is that avatar)  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
Its a showcase of my blue ladies.  
They always make me feel... well i dont quite know, worthwhile in times of great despair for me.  
So i figure the best thing i can do for the world is to show them to everyone i can!  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
the wii fit trainer?????  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
She helped me tone my physique! I look quite good nowadays thanks to her masterful talent in instruction.  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Roxy, if I may...  
Just give up preemptively. You're never going to win this argument.  
By the way, give me a hex color code, Jake.  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
How does 1f9400 sound to you chaps?  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Perfect. Just a moment.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
u're not going w blue?  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
Oh heavens forbid. No that color is reserved only for my darling sister to speak with.  
And my grandmother.  
Not that she wouldnt let me use her hex color code im sure but i just feel weird asking.  
Ah wonderful job as always dirk!  


* * *

KAY-CBOT  
Welcome, @gutsyGumshoe. Welcome to YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.  


* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Oh boy.  
Jake, when you said Dirk was a lot sometimes...  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
Not sure if I should be offended by that remark or honored that the legendary Harley siblings talk about me.  


* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Aw, shucks.  
Well. :B  
If you find us legendary I'm sure you can't be all bad.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
OKAY  
hello everone my name is roxy lalobne  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
Hello miss lalobne!  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
*lalonde FUCK  
okay take two my name is roxy lalodne fuck it im not fixing that.  
now you maye be wonderin  
why has this spankin hot chick gathered u all here tody???  


* * *

timaeusTestified  
I wasn't, no.  
And pardon me, but didn't _I_ make this server?  
(Jane: DM me a hex color code.)  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
hush strider  
okay take three fuck it  
the truth is...  
honestly? im kinda lonely nowadays lol  
i know i know high school why dont u reach out to ppl around you in meatspace rolal and gaah i try believe me  
but liek  
idk maybe its like a coward thing to hide bhehind the default discord profile picture but like  
honestly  
even w all the moves ive done over the years to diff parts of the us and canada like  
theoretically that should give me the anonymity to like....  
b myself  
but instead ofr some reason i just feel even shittier and worse like hey arent u only here bc your mom wants to write  
why are u even TRYIN to intergate urself into our local culture  
u kno once shes done w it ur goin back to the states for a book tour  
idek. teh interwebz are so impermanent but also its like  
weirdly the space where i can be a fixed human for  
some time  
w/out feelin like i gotta void out my idennity and start gaian  
so..... what was the point i was tryna make  


* * *

golgothasTerror  
Why you invited us all!  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
RITE  
basically  
idk! shootin my shot w each harley n their closest associate  
ive heard tale of like... groupchats that just form, exactly like this  
and just bc everyone is there they become like  
lifelong friends  


* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Gosh, Roxy.  
I had no idea you felt this way.  
You do know I already consider you to perhaps be my best friend of all time?  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
cryin in the club rn  
jk on my couch w a copy of my moms shitty ass last book   
the cryin part is still tru tho  


* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Oh, Roxy!  
How I wish I could be in Canada right now to comfort you.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
me too bby me too :,D  
O WAIT b4 we start chattin abt the general things i wanted to do one last thing  


* * *

KAY-CBOT  
Welcome, @uranianUmbra. Welcome to YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.  


* * *

uranianUmbra  
hello everyone! ^u^  
please call me callie. i'm delighted to be here!  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jane's avatar taken from [here](https://synapsekisses.tumblr.com/post/167328843662/i-got-through-arc-21-today-and-when-i-got-to), Jake's avatar taken from... everywhere, sorry. Roxy's avatar was an edit by me.


	2. Chapter 2

  
# general   
  


KAY-CBOT  
Welcome back, @undyingUmbrage. Try not to leave again.  


* * *

undyingUmbrage  
FuCK YOu ALL.  
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ON THIS SERVER WITHOuT GETTING KICKED.

* * *

timaeusTestified  
To be fair, it was a fair moderator decision.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
GO FuCK YOuRSELF, HuMAN STRIDER.  
LITERALLY EVERYONE BuT ME HAS FuLL ADMINISTRATOR PRIVELEGES.  
IT'S DISCRIMINATION. JuST BECAuSE I'M DIFFERENT.

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
I disagree.  
Your sister has the exact same full admin as the rest of us.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
IT'S DISCRIMINATION AGAINST _ME_.  
WHICH IS THE ONLY TYPE THAT MATTERS.

* * *

golgothasTerror  
Aw cheer up caliborn! It was only a kick and youre ripsnorting back in action now.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
YES.  
YES, YOu'RE RIGHT.  
THIS WILL ONLY MAKE ME MORE POWERFuL!

* * *

timaeusTestified  
Cal.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
WHAT.

* * *

timaeusTestified  
If you're done powertripping, I'd suggest changing your avatar.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
WHY.  
IT'S GREEN. A VERY GOOD COLOR.  
THE JAKE HuMAN MADE A GOOD DECISION COLORING HIS NAME LIKE THAT.

* * *

golgothasTerror  
Thanks!

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
SHuT uP.

* * *

timaeusTestified  
I dunno. Your whole presentation right now is kind of standard.  
Your username is the default color, your avatar tells me nothing about you.  
Give me a hex color and make yourself an avatar.  
You've been here for weeks. I think it's more than high time that you really let yourself get immersed in Discord.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
BY BEEN HERE FOR WEEKS. YOu MEAN GETTING CONSTANTLY KICKED.  
FOR ANYTHING FROM A PuN OR.  
MOSTLY PuNS ACTuALLY.  
THOuGH I KEEP TELLING YOu PEOPLE.  
ANY AND ALL PuNS I MAKE ARE NOT A RESuLT OF MY CONSCIOuS MIND.  
BUT MOSTLY. YEARS OF CONDITIONING FROM BOTH OF MY PARENTS.  
ONE OF WHOM IS LITERALLY A CLOWN.

* * *

timaeusTestified  
Are you done?

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
YES.  
GIVE ME HEX COLOR CODE #323232.  
I WILL RETuRN.  
MORE POWERFuL THAN EVER!

* * *

KAY-CBOT  
@undyingUmbrage left the server. Coward.  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
lmao  
does he kno that u dont need to leave the server to change ur av

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Frankly, I think we'd be better off if he didn't come back.  
He's a big old bully, and I don't understand why anyone lets him push us around, let alone you, Callie!

* * *

uranianUmbra  
u_u  
he doesn't mean any harm.  
honestly, i trUly mean it when i say my life is better that i have him in it.  
something i think i woUld be able to say no to if he were trUly a big bUlly like you insist!  
my brother has always helped me during my life's hardest moments.  
when we were both yoUng and i was strUggling with my gender...  
he walked out in a blazer and a hoop skirt and declared that he'd taken all the gender in the family for the both of Us. ^u^  
he still likes to present femininely from time to time! i'm looking over at him now.  
he's wearing a dress with strawberries on it.  
and fUrioUsly scribbling into his drawing tablet.  
@timaeusTestified, i think he's taking yoU up on the avatar challenge!

* * *

timaeusTestified  
You know what?  
Good for him.  
I truly believed it when I said that he should up his look.  
He'll come back with a kickass profile picture.  
We'll all be bowing down to his baddest self as represented through digital art.

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
lmao  
underrated moment here is callie just bein fuckin open abt gender shit  
le pleading emoji  
god i wish i could just. say words like you do, callie

* * *

uranianUmbra  
<blushes.>  
oh, roxy...

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic  
my name aint roxy no more  
for now until i end this fuckin stream its robloxy lalonde  
were gonna see how the fuck this game changed since they removed tix  
erryone hop into vc2

* * *

uranianUmbra  
right away, darling!

* * *

  
# general   
  


KAY-CBOT  
Welcome back, @undyingUmbrage. Try not to leave again.  


* * *

undyingUmbrage  
I'M BACK.  
IT TOOK A LOT OF SYMBOLOGY RESEARCH.  
AS WELL AS GOING BACK TO THE BASICS.  
BuT I FINALLY FIGURED OuT. WHAT MY AVATAR SHOuLD BE.  
STRIDER. IF YOU WOuLD.

* * *

timaeusTestified  
Huh?

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
OH FOR FuCK'S SAKE.  
THERE. SEE. I DID IT. I CHANGED MY AVATAR.  
AND STRIDER CHANGED MY ROLE COLOR.  
WOW. FuCKING INCREDIBLE.  
HERE IT IS IN HIGH RESOLuTION FOR YOu DIPSHITS.  
http://i.imgur.com/HOLYFUCKINGSHIT.png  


* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
...  
What in the world is it meant to be?

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
ARE YOu SERIOuS.  
DOES YOuR FuCKING CuLTuRE NOT HAVE THIS SYMBOL.  
MY PARENTS RAISED ME TO uNDERSTAND THIS SYMBOL AS ONE OF GREAT TERROR AND DESTRuCTION.  
ONE HIGHER THAN ALL OF THE TWELVE ASPECTS.  
WELL. EXCEPT MAYBE RAGE. MY MOTHER CERTAINLY ASSOCIATED THIS SYMBOL WITH RAGE.

* * *

golgothasTerror  
Well what in the everfucking dickens is it meant to be?  
Cut out the metaphors if you can, im not too good with those.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
HONESTLY? ME NEITHER.  
FINE. WELL SINCE YOu ASKED SO POLITELY.  
THE FIRST BIT REPRESENTS A MAN ENTERING A NEW PHASE IN HIS LIFE.  
A SHOCKING REVELATION HAS LED HIM TO ENTER A DANGEROuS LOCALE.  
THEN, THERE ARE THE TWO SPIKES IN THE TOP LEFT.  
THE MAN CONFERS WITH AN ELDER.  
HE IS GIVEN DIRECTIONS TO CONTINUE ON HIS QuEST, WHICH TAKES HIM TO THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER.

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
hold the fucking phone  
stop right teher  
there* sorry im simultaneously reading this and rping in mario in roblox

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
WHAT THE FuCK IS IT NOW.

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
is the next panel about a guy conferring with another informant  
and then he findd a love one in great pain or somethin

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
WOW. YES, ACTuALLY.  
MAYBE YOuR CuLTuRE ISN'T SO BACKWARDS AFTER ALL.

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
_Backwards?????_

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
im fucking D Y I N G  
@uranianUmbra your brothers new avatar is fucking LOSS

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
LOSS.  
YES. THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED.  
IT'S POWERFuL. STRONG. INESCAPABLE.  
PuRE GAMER RAGE CONDENSED INTO A SINGLE SIMPLE SYMBOL.

* * *

uranianUmbra  
@tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy) sorry, what is loss?

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
wat  
u dont know what loss is?????

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
OF COuRSE I FuCKING KNOW IT.  
IT'S MY FuCKING AVATAR.

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
wait hold on  
if ur not familiar w loss as a meme based on a reall bad comic by webcomic asrtit tim buckley  
where did u get tjsi symbol

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
AROuND THE RESPITEBLOCK. IT'S FuCKING EVERYWHERE, FRANKLY.  
MY MOTHER STITCHES IT IN VARIOuS PERMuTATIONS.  
I uSED TO GO TO SLEEP SNuGGLING A HAND-STITCHED LOSS THROW PILLOW.  
IT'S BEEN OMNIPRESENT SINCE BEFORE I CAN EVEN REMEMBER.

* * *

timaeusTestified  
Loss as a meme only dates back a couple of years.  
Are you saying your mother predates Tim Buckley?  
No, wait. Your mother _is_ Tim Buckley.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
GO FuCK YOuRSELF WITH MY OLD THROW PILLOW, STRIDER.  
AND REGARDING MY MOTHER. FOR THE RECORD:

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Will you all just _shut up?????_

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
ope

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
I have had it up to here with you, buster.  
So far I tolerated you because I like your sister. I really do!  
But I frankly, regardless of what she says, cannot _believe_ you're actually related!  
You just don't shut up about -- power, or something else equally meaningless -- wasting my time with _memes._  
Really? Memes? Is that what we're all doing with ourselves nowadays?  
And to top it all off, I think you're a bad artist. There, I said it.

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
OPE  
harleys gettin gnarly

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Quiet, you.  
I think your avatar is only a couple of lines because you're incapable of doing anything else.  
You can't even figure out how to use anything but the line tool!

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
DO YOu REALLY BELIEVE THAT.

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
Prove me wrong.

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
https://i.imgur.com/JANEYOUFUCKINGIDIOT.png  


* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
oh  
em  
GEE  
SDHASKDGSADKGJSDJHSDLGLSDg  
DO U HAVE A VERSION WITHOUT THE TEXT

* * *

undyingUmbrage  
I CROPPED IT IN ADVANCE.  
DO YOu KNOW WHY?  
BECAuSE. REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYONE SAYS OR THINKS.  
I WILL ALWAYS. RISE TO THE TASK.  
WHETHER ART. OR READING. OR "GENDER." OR WHATEVER THE FuCK POKEMON IS.  
I CAN DO IT. AND I WILL TRIuMPH!  
AND NOW. THAT I HAVE PROVEN MY RAW ART SKILLS.  
IT IS TIME. FOR YOu TO REPLACE YOuR AVATAR.

* * *

gutsyGumshoe  
...  
Well, a deal's a deal.  
Goodbye, Tattletale. I hardly knew you, even though you were my avatar for... many years.  
At least shirtless Putin is a hunk.

* * *

golgothasTerror  
Oh god dont say that in front of me! I read this chat too you know.

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
hahahahaha  
yall are cute  
hop into vc 2 tho for real i wanna beat this fuckin game and have an audience watch me do it

* * *

timaeusTestified  
Isn't Roblox one of those open-ended games anyhow?

* * *

tipsyGnostalgic (robloxy)  
hush your entire self strider :)  
lets finish this

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Jane's avatar taken from [here](https://synapsekisses.tumblr.com/post/167328843662/i-got-through-arc-21-today-and-when-i-got-to), Jake's avatar taken from... everywhere, sorry. Roxy's avatar was an edit by me.


End file.
